Ila Nan Clyde Cook and Alice Maude Osmond Cook-February birthdays
Dave wrote a nice tribute about my mother in his letter last week. Her birthday was two days ago--February 26. I was thinking to copy Dave's tribute and put it in this letter, but decided I should write my own tribute. He mentioned that my mother shouldn't be defined by her Alzheimers that she had for the last seven or so years of her life. I agree. She was (is) such a wonderful person and has been a great example to me throughout her life.
When my mother was only 22, her husband of only 6 months was killed in WWII.
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| Dave found this picture of my mom recently. We think it was her high school portrait. |
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| My mother as a young mother with Bruce, Glenn and David. I don't know who the girls are. Probably Dianne and Barbara Clyde. This picture was taken in my Clyde grandparent's back yard. My grandfather had dozens of rose bushes. |
My mom shared with me her struggle to get over her grief. She wanted to stay home and wallow for a while, but her father (who also lost his first wife at a very young age) told her to stay busy and get to work, so she did. She told me that after grieving heavily for a year--feeling that she would never get over Gene's death and that her chance for a husband and children was probably gone--she had a dream. Gene came to her in her dream and told her that she needed to move on--that he could not progress until she moved forward. After that, she was able to let go of the pain and move on with her life. She didn't talk about this very much and I found out that she hadn't shared this with my other siblings at the time she shared it with me. I think I was the one who needed to hear this story. When Tom died, I remembered my mother and told Tom in my heart, that though I would grieve, I wouldn't hold him back--that he should go forward in whatever he was called to do.
My mom was very giving. She knew what people liked, and gave accordingly. I am afraid I am more like my dad in the area of gift giving (and even remembering to give gifts). When mom would come to visit me in Georgia, she would always bring pine-nuts to Roy, because she knew he loved them. She also knew that he only wore shirts that were 100% cotton. His own mother never figured this out. Mom would always bring treats for the kids. Although I wouldn't trade our years of living in Georgia, I do think I missed out on a lot of good years of my mother's life--she was failing when we moved home in 1998 and wasn't the same person.
One very important lesson I learned from my mom is that things are not as important as people. Whenever something would get broken, she would help clean it up while assuring the breaker that "it was only a material thing." I am sure she cried in private when some of the things that she had made or that had sentimental value to her were broken, but she never let on. When my own kids were young, Nick and Dan had a friend over. As they were fixing a snack, he pulled a plate out of the cupboard and dropped it, and it broke. I must have been a little uptight because I was about to get mad at him, but Nick said, "Don't worry--we don't get in trouble for breaking things." That was a good reminder for me.
As I get older I see my mother in myself. When I do something worthy of being laughed at, and I giggle with the kids, I see my mom. When I realize how tiring it is to take care of little children at my age, I'm reminded of my mom telling me, "There's a reason you have children when you're young." I also notice mannerisms in myself that she had (such as holding my two hands together, but never still).
Dave also commented that my mother never said anything negative about people. She was also a very quiet person, which I didn't realize when I was young. She was a little bit shy. She didn't like to pray or speak publicly, though she would do it if she had a little time to prepare. It's amazing to me that her children are so outgoing. I think she noticed this in herself and did things to make sure we were more comfortable in public settings. She encouraged me to take speech classes and other things that helped with this. She also made sure all her children had swimming lessons because she was afraid of the water. Never did I hear my mom complain, even though I know she had pain in her legs throughout her life. I miss my wonderful mother.
Today is my grandmother Cook's birthday. She also was an influence on me at the time of Tom's death. She had left a book of poetry that she wrote, which I read at that time. I realized that nearly every poem was written to help her with her grief and to help her through the healing process. It helped me to know that she had suffered as I was suffering and was able to overcome. Through her writings I gained perspective and hope. She passed away when I was only 10, but she lived with us for a little while before her death. Once again, my mother was a wonderful example of selfless service as she cared for her mother-in-law. When Grandma Cook was dying, she would ask for my mother over her own daughters. I don't remember a lot of that time, but I do remember reading my own poems to my grandma and her encouragement.
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| Alice Maude Osmond Cook |
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| Alice Maude Osmond Cook (She looked more like this when I knew her). |
This week I was able to go to Logan and play with Ruby, Greta and Bridget while Matt had surgery for his deviated septum. While miserable for him, and probably not too fun for Crista, either, Roy and I had a great time with the girls. It was fun to see them--we don't see them often because of the hour drive (which really isn't that far). As you can see from the pictures, the girls love dance parties. Bridget was pretty attached to me. It was fun to get her up from her nap and then get her out of bed again in the morning. I'm sure she wondered why it wasn't her mom, but she came to me willingly.
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| Ruby |
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| Even Roy got up and danced (so did I, but I don't have to share pictures I'm not happy with). |
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| Ruby and Bridget |
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| Triple selfie |
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| I took a quilting class the last three Saturdays and this is what I made. This is one of the more difficult quilts I've made, if not the most difficult. It required precise cutting, sewing and careful ironing. I have all the borders on it now. |
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